Born and raised in Hong Kong, Shirley Yuen has been living in the United States since 1995. She earned her bachelor’s degree in communications and management from Simmons College (’75 B.A.) and her master’s degree in journalism from University of Southern California (’77 M.A.). Upon graduation, Shirley returned to Hong Kong and worked as the Advertising and Merchandising Manager of Revlon (Hong Kong) Ltd for more than six years before deciding to become a devoted full-time parent in 1984.

Trained as a journalist to focus on the ‘What’ ‘When’ ‘Why’ ‘Who’ and ‘How’ of news stories, Shirley found herself asking the same questions in real life as she delved into the teachings of Confucius in “Investigate the Truth” to deal with life issues. She believes that only the pursuit of truth can set her free, and that investigating the truth is the first step to solving all problems in life. And it is this firm belief that had kept her from giving in to the fear and devastation when her teenage daughter wanted to run away from home in 1999…

Shirley’s awakening journey as a parent started fifteen years ago when her teenage daughter bravely asked her to read her diary. Her daughter’s diary revealed to her what kind of mother she was in the eyes of her daughter. It was distressing and painful, and yet it opened the door of an enlightening parenting experience for her that had brought her to whom she is today…a proud mother of two wonderful children, who are loving, independent and responsible adults.

AS AN AUTHOR

Shirley’s first book “The Three Virtues of Effective Parenting” was published in 2005 as a result of Shirley’s desire to share with other parents her own parenting trials and tribulations and to offer guidance and support to parents who are faced with their own parenting challenges. As a first time author, Shirley was honored to win the iParenting Media Award, (iParenting is a Disney Internet Group Media Company) and had The Three Virtues of Effective Parenting translated into five languages – Chinese, German, Romanian, Spanish and Turkish.

The Three Virtues of Effective Parenting is the first book to apply Confucius’ teachings in human relationships to modern parenting. The Three-Step Parenting Approach in the book teaches parents to “Stay Calm with Benevolence”, “Reason with Wisdom” and ‘Act with Courage”. These three practical steps are easy to follow if you allow yourself to cultivate and feel the force of these virtues in your life.

Synopsis of Shirley’s new book to be published in spring of 2015:

In Shirley’s upcoming new book, she blends the best of American and Chinese culture and shows parents how each culture has contributed to fulfilling the human needs of children. At the same time, she also shows how each culture has ignored the human needs of children, thus encouraging parents from both cultures to learn from each other. Furthermore, this new book challenges parents of all cultures to see beyond their cultural borders and focus their energy on the human needs of children that are universal. This is a book that is based on Chinese philosophy as well as American psychology, with emphasis on the Chinese Yin Yan Theory and American Psychologist Abraham Maslow’s theory, Hierarchy of Needs.

AS A SPEAKER

It never occurred to Shirley before she became an author that she would enjoy speaking more than writing. She has found interacting with parents to be inspiring and gratifying. As a speaker, Shirley has resonated with thousands of parents in Honolulu, Los Angeles, Seattle and Hong Kong. From classrooms to shelters for women, she enjoyed speaking about parenting to parents in all walks of life. From facilitating workshops for just a few parents to speaking to hundreds at the Cathy Pacific Lecture Hall, Shirley has been told that her passion and enthusiasm have made her an exceptional speaker. In 2008, she was the first parenting speaker to conduct free parenting seminars for ‘Nannies’ in Hong Kong, helping hundreds of them to learn the power of Benevolence when caring for their employer’s young children.

Shirley’s speaking experience has also helped her discover how cultural norms have impacted parenting. Time and again, tearful parents – especially first generation Chinese parents living in America – are eager to share with her their stories about how cultural conflicts make their parenting experience challenging and overwhelming. American parents on the other hand wonder if they should learn to become ‘Tiger’ parents and act like Chinese authoritative parents. To this, Shirley’s response is, “Please don’t!” Based on all the concerns and questions of cross-cultural parenting, Shirley knew she would need to deliver many more seminars and workshops on this topic for the many years to come.

AS A PARENT

Shirley Yuen has two children who she believes have been sent to her to help her discover the true meaning of Benevolence and its significance in parenting and life in general. She was blessed with a son in 1984 and a daughter in 1986 and was hopeful that she would be the best mother to her children. She resigned from a corporate job with great prospect once she became a mother for she decided that she wanted to give her undivided time and attention to her two beloved children. She considered herself a loving and successful mother for fifteen years until one day her thirteen years old daughter asked her to read her diary. Reading her daughter’s diary was like reading her ‘parenting report card’ for the first time in her life. Reading the writings of a miserable and helpless daughter was like seeing an ‘F’

It was the year 2000, and for many years that followed, Shirley felt like she was evolving inside a cocoon, studying parenting and philosophy in search of the answer to her question “How did I fail as a mother?” As one of the most ‘educated’ parent who attended all the parenting classes that were offered to her, she could not imagine herself failing as a mother. But then she discovered that she had lost touch of her intuition and was unable to feel for her children and sense their human needs and that is because, as with many parents, her analytical thinking was so dominant that intuition had been diminished altogether. Amazingly, she later found out that according to Confucius, a benevolent person must possess both sense perception and rational reasoning in order to find balance in life, and that was something that she missed seeing as a young mother.

It had also come to Shirley’s attention that for the past ten years, thanks to her study of Chinese philosophy, she had changed – not only as a parent, but also as a person. The philosophy of Confucius and the Yin Yang theory (more information on Yin Yang theory in FAQ) had given her a totally new perspective on life and, consequently, helped her become a benevolent mother who can stay calm and confident when faced with the ongoing challenges of parenthood.

Over the past ten years, Shirley’s son and daughter had graduated from college, decided on their own to pursue graduate degrees in fields of their choices and are now working in areas of their interests. As for Shirley, despite of her setbacks in her parenting journey, she now considers herself the proud mother of two loving, independent and responsible adults. Yet, she now finds herself searching for the answer to a another question, “How can I help parents understand children’s human needs that are often neglected by their cultures ?”

SHIRLEY’S VISION

Ten years ago, Shirley’s vision was to become an author and speaker who can share her parenting studies and philosophy with other parents in order to introduce the virtues of benevolence, wisdom and courage to the parenting world.

Today, Shirley is an award -winning author and a popular speaker who has been able to help many parents understand the significance of benevolence, wisdom and courage in child rearing and is now planning to take parenting one step further – outside parents’ cultural boundaries. Her vision now is to advocate a cross cultural parenting approach in her upcoming new book (to be published in spring 2015) that will help parents see beyond their cultural borders and focus on the human needs of their children and not their cultural customs.

Shirley’s long term vision is to set up her ‘No Parent Left Behind’ Foundation to make parenting education affordable (or free) and accessible to all parents. She envisions that one day parenting education will be recognized as a requisite and not an option for child rearing. She believes that majority of parents love their children, but most of these loving parents are not mindful of their children’s human needs.

Sadly, according to American psychologist Abraham Maslow, children with unmet lower level human needs will be deprived of the opportunity to feel their higher level ‘self-actualization’ need – which enables them to be self motivated and reach their best potential in life. Shirley’s vision is to be able to share her studies as well as the insights of other parenting experts with the many parents who are needed to raise a generation of happy and well-balanced children, who in turn will do the same for their next generation.